Fat rules

Finally a win for the good guys and a big “suspicions confirmed” moment. Go back a few months and recall the major news that obesity was the number two cause of premature deaths and that we are in the clutches of an epidemic of fatness. Oh crap, we’re going to die sooner than the skinny guys. Yeah but so what, at least we’ll have been happy all that time. Fast forward to earlier this week when the CDC released the report which said they had made a “calculation” error which took the number of deaths related to weight down considerably – in fact from 2nd place to 7th place. It didn’t say but I think pit bull attacks was number 6. It then went on to say that the number of deaths had dropped from an earlier forecast of 400,000 down to 34,000. Hmmmm interesting but still this was for the obese not for us “over weights”. In fact the next paragraph said that the number of deaths in the overweight range – that would be from the “ideal” weight up to the obese weight – was zero. Repeat zero. Then the stunner – 1000 deaths from people at the ideal weight or less. So the report concludes that it was actually better to be overweight and the “ideal” will be adjusted upward in the future. Personally, I think all this grief that us over weights have suffered has been a great hoax perpetrated by the skinny. That’s believable since we know that skinny people are not as happy because their bones are not as well covered, they are colder or hotter, and they have an empty place deep inside – from a lack of food. So they are envious which makes them nasty and resentful and so have all these years attacked us happy, healthy, pleasingly plumpers. For me personally the irony is that I started a diet 3 weeks ago. Since it was not a weight driven diet but rather an economic driven diet – don’t want to buy new clothes that fit – I’ve decided to continue for a few more weeks but………………………

And you know it makes sense. I’ve always thought that carrying a few extra pounds was the same as carrying some spare parts. You have some room to survive a downturn that deprives you of sustenance. Maybe an illness that kills the appetite or worse yet, ejects any food. Maybe getting stranded somewhere with no food. But we all know that when you get old, old you lose your appetite. Someone (in the family) once told me that you never see any old, old fat people which this person took as proof that skinny people live longer. Now we know that the reason is that these old, old skinny people started out as old over weights who have gradually come down to skinny while those old skinny people died of malnourishment years before. No spare capacity; no nutritional reserves.

We can expect to see later reports refuting all this good news as the skinny’s regroup and plot their next move but from this point on, I’m shutting off the tube or putting down the paper at this first hint of “new” findings. As a parting comment, I’ve observed that democrats are skinnier that republicans – which now makes sense.

3 thoughts on “Fat rules

  1. Maybe it’s time I change your “Deep Thoughts” category to “Thoughts” ?

    Good post by the way. Altho a before shot on the diet would’ve spiced things up a bit.


  2. This diet I’m on is so serious that I don’t order the nickle beer at Brians and have unsweetened tea with my wings at beef o’brady’s. Now that’s a serious diet.


  3. Who are you kidding… You always have unsweetened tea, which I attribute to your northern upbringing. And don’t forget, The saying is “You can never be too rich or too thin”… Not too poor or too fat”.

    Democrats are thinner because they are more sophisticated. I thought everyone knew that?


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